|Psalms 143:8 – “Let the morning bring words of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me what I should do, for to You I entrust my life. “
“Starting the day off each morning with God as my focus prepares me for whatever the day is going to throw at me. I know that God has ‘got this’ no matter what. It brings a sense of peace and is a reminder that He, not I, is in control. What a relief! My friend sent me a song to listen to this morning and it got me in all of the ‘feels’. It was “You Lead Me” by Lauren Daigle. Life has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride of emotions lately. It’s scary (the good kind), exciting (the anxious kind), confusing, and conflicting. The confusion and conflict comes from my battle with the enemy, I know. Maybe it is just me, but I think that there should be more attention given to the awareness of the spiritual warfare we are immersed in. The weight of it sometimes is tiring. When it gets tiring though, that is when I know that I’m trying to do too much on my own strength and I need to lean in to God more.
I have gone through a few big things in the last couple of months. A car accident, friction with a trusted friend, and dealing with the spirit of rejection & comparison. I have laid all these down before God and although what I’ve gone through was difficult, I have heard God’s voice so much in the last couple of months. It made it worth it. He has provided me with clarifying moments and direction. I still don’t understand how they will all work out in the big scheme of everything, but He’s been so faithful to give me the exact amount of hope and information I need for that day, for that moment. This part in the song brought me to tears because it’s exactly how I feel lately –
“When I’m afraid of where I’ll be, You lead me.
I close my eyes and hold on tightly to Your hand.
Don’t know if I’m walking on watеr or sinking sand.
Caught up in the storm of what I feel
I thought You were thе sword, but You’re the shield.”
I am seeing little by little how each step and direction I have obeyed in the past month has prepared me for what I have encountered recently. I know that He is continually preparing for the future. Even though it doesn’t make sense to me now, I know it will one day and it will be for my good, for His good. I took a huge leap and attempted to share my testimony. It flopped and I was discouraged. I made a goal to read the entire Bible in one year. I gave up numerous times but He placed this determination to get it done in my heart. Stepping out with my testimony and being vulnerable in front of others helped me to gain the confidence I needed to land my new job. It also helped me to gain some victory over the spirit of rejection and comparison. The urge to read the Bible allowed me to have His word hidden in my heart and not allow the spirit of defeat take over me. Time and time again… in the little things and big… He shows me His faithfulness. Though they are not how I expected them to come, I am seeing my prayers being faithfully answered.”