| Jeremiah 10:23 – “I know, O Lord, that a man’s way is not in himself, Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps.” |
A friend and I were the entertainment at our Prime Timers’ Spring Fling banquet a few weeks ago. I am now a Prime Timer at our church (65-ish and beyond). I don’t use the word “old” anymore. Things and people are older, but not old.
Age is relative. Methuselah would look at me as a 69-er, and say I was not out of the starting gate yet. He would have 900 years on me. As I (Ned) was singing and playing my guitar, and Russell (Numpty) accompanied me on bass guitar and flute, my thoughts went back to the early 1980’s and I in my twenties.
I moved out to the Los Angeles area to try my hand in the music business. I had written a few songs, and envisioned sold out auditoriums, record deals, world tours, money and fame. Fast forward 45 years, and none of that happened. Instead I am entertaining at our church party, and have a steady gig at a memory care unit. We performed at my mother’s senior community in Fort Worth. You are thinking: “Jeff, you must be disappointed at the way your life has turned out.” Actually, at one time, the answer would have been yes. But as I have aged out and matured (as a fine wine), the answer is different now. I am not sour. I am not bitter. I am . . .happy. And thankful.
Thankful to God for that prayer He did not answer as I wished Him to. I would rather perform for free to friends and family. At the end of the evening, I go home and sleep in my own bed, lying next to my wife, my friend for life. Not with some groupie, not in a hotel in a faraway city, not high or drunk, not trying to medicate away my loneliness, not away from all my family and friends. God, as He always does, knows best. Sadly, we usually find out too late. I sing because it brings me joy. Not because it brings me money, or screaming fans and such.
God whispers. Satan entices. One leads to life. One to death. Saturday, I was in the office (my 8 to 5 job) part of the day working to make up for time lost in the storm, and then I came home and replaced all the parts in our toilet. Sigh. The life of a rock star. I am currently preparing for a gig at the memory care unit. They may forget that Russell and I (stage names Ned And Numpty) were there after we leave. No matter. I love the life that God has given me. It is so much better for me than the life I had in mind when I set out.
Father in heaven, thank You for giving me GOOD gifts, in Jesus’ name, Amen!
- Jeff Beall
