| Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” |
I am an odd duck at Christmas. I hate the question “what do you want for Christmas?” I never have an answer. I don’t have a list. I don’t want anything. I ask myself “Why?”
I remember a time when I was 5 years old or so. It seemed there was no end to the gifts I was opening. One after the other. With each gift, I was amazed that these were mine. We weren’t wealthy at all, just squeaking by in a small town. In fact, looking back, I realize my dad was drowning. He was trying to keep us fed by working for his father in a grocery store on a very tiny salary. The store was closed on Sunday, and he would go and wax the floors while no customers were there. He tried selling vacuum cleaners, a tough gig.
Then he bought a Cities Service gas station, and worked like a dog to make a tiny profit. He told what all he did for each car that pulled in. He “pumped the gas, whisked out the floorboards with a broom, checked the air in the tires, checked the water level in the battery, checked the oil and radiator, washed the windshield, and took the payment.” Whew!
He finally took his best option and went into the military full time. But this one particular Christmas during our struggling days, I got so many gifts (possibly because my grandfather owned a hardware store as well). At the end of all the gifts, I felt this emptiness. I had not found joy in anything. The anticipation of happiness in a box had fallen short. I learned at a young age that there was no joy in receiving gifts. At least, not in the gifts I had received. I guess I expected too much. Unreal expectations? I think so. I believed the commercials that promised me joy. If I could just get my hands on what they were selling.
As I grew older, got a janitorial job as a 14 year old, and used my own money to buy gifts, I found joy in that. Watching my mother and father open things I had bought them made me feel good. At that point, I understood that I should focus on the giving part and forget the receiving part. I wanted to make Christmas come alive for others, and in the process, found I had received something special. I do enjoy spending time with my family, sharing meals (good food brings them around), getting thoughtful gifts, seeing the grandkids.
Bing Crosby sang “The Spirit of Christmas” about carrying the nice person attitude that pops up in December with us all year. Drive your car kindly all the time. Open doors for people all the time. Smile at strangers “all the time”. Speak kindly “all the time.” Be the same person year round. That is my goal. Give others your best self every day, every time.
Father in heaven, thank You for giving us Your best, in Jesus’ name, Amen!
- Jeff Beall
