| Proverbs 31:10 – “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” |
I was telling someone how my wife and I met, and it always gets me to thinking about the process of finding a wife. I think about what women find attractive in a man. Sure, Robert Redford looks might be nice, but I think in the long run, other qualities might win out.
This is my opinion only, and unofficial. Unofficial because I have not polled every woman, and because I am a man speaking for women. The women will have to eventually speak for themselves, and be the judge of my humble opinion. It is based on just shy of 35 years of marriage, and 18 years of dating a wide assortment of ladies. Much like a box of chocolates, I learned from experience of trial and error.
When I met my wife, I had an outline of what a good wife would be. She stepped into that outline I had honed and it didn’t take me long to know I was onto something with her. So, here they are. Jeff’s thoughts on what will make a man a good husband, and what will make a woman a good wife.
Before you can be a good husband, you have to know what kind of woman you want to catch. You can’t put a lure in the water unless you know what you want. My mother said more than once, “The quality of the nest you feather depends upon the chick you marry.” Is party girl number one on your list? Then be a fun guy and be done with it. If you want more, then think on.
I want a girl who is faithful, with me through thick and thin, when the going is tough, when the chips are down, when the cupboard is bare, and the piggy bank empty. I want a girl who will respect me. I want a girl who is into building a home, a safe place for a nest full of eggs, who wants to help hatch them and see them out of the nest prepared to meet the world. A girl who wants to be my best friend, to hear everything on my heart, all the thoughts in my head. And a girl who can be content with what I can bring home and put in the bank.
So, what kind of guy do I need to be? What does that kind of woman want in a man? 1. He needs to put God first, even above her. 2. He needs to get out of bed and go to work, day after day, year after monotonous year. And he needs to take pride in what he does, and needs to do it well. 3. He needs to put her above himself. Her needs before his. 4. He needs to listen to her when she is sharing about her day. He needs to find her life interesting, whatever it is. 5. He needs to share in the duties at home, such as mowing the grass, taking out the trash, vacuuming the floors, cleaning toilets, cleaning the kitchen. Whatever needs to be done. Laundry, cooking, folding clean clothes. I read a book “Sex Begins In The Kitchen” and there was a lot of truth to it. 6. He needs to be a father to their children. He needs to be there, even after a hard day. He needs to play with them, discipline them, teach them, show them what a man and father and husband looks like. 7. He needs to be honest and open with her, letting her inside the fence around his heart. This is not exhaustive, but it is what I can think of right now after a day filled with a total eclipse.
Father in heaven, help me to be the man You want me to be so that I can live with the woman You want me to love, in Jesus’ name, Amen!
-Jeff Beall
